This must be it.
Welcome to the new year.
Look! I started a new blog… again! 5 years ago this very night I started The Backend of Forever, and that lasted a good nine months or so. I’ve got my own personal URL, and I guess this is what I’m going to use it for. If you read that first post on the old one, this one should look very familiar.
The drinks were consumed,
the plants were destroyed,
and the hors d’oeuvres dismantled.
I might have said 2012 was going to be big for me… and it was. I started living by myself, I went back to school, I didn’t go insane (I think). Bigger things have happened to me between now and then. 2016 was a huge year for me, and I’m hoping 2017 is just going to keep going up. I’m finally starting to see that light of stability in certain aspects of my life.
I’m not smiling
behind this fake veneer.
I am often interrupted
or completely ignored,
but most of all I’m bored.
Why am I starting this? Well, mostly fun honestly. Also to make actual blog length posts. The micro-blogging stuff will stick to Twitter and Facebook. I’ve had plenty of ideas floating in my head for the last number of years, and some I’ve actually acted on. For instance, I started a podcast (The Masters of Nothing) that’s so old that it’s been re-branded once (it was formerly known as Jake and John Pod). I want to use this for my own personal blurbs, that may or may not be ancillary to The Masters of Nothing. Last time I tried this I wrote a weekly piece on the manga I was reading for the week, and I’d be lying if I didn’t find some enjoyment in that.
I’m trying to find out
if my words have any meaning.
Lackluster and full of contempt
when it always ends the same.
Why won’t she listen to me?
Another big thing that I hope this helps me with is motivation. Last time I tried this it lasted about 9 months… which is pretty good for me, but I can do better! For instance, we were doing pretty well on the podcast up until a couple of months ago, but motivation in general is one of my biggest problems. For instance, I enjoy when I work out. Endorphins make me happy! But all it usually takes is coming home late from work and passing on the couch once to screw everything up for me.
Why did I come?
Oh, why did I come here?
These humans all suck.
I’d rather be home
feeling violent and lonely.
I’m not trying to sound so insincere,
but the postcard that’s taped to the freezer reads:
“Wish you were here.”
How I wish I could disappear.
I’m going to try not to censor myself too much, but I’m probably not going to come here to bitch about my personal problems and call people out, etc. I don’t really think a public forum is a place to do that in most cases. Also, there’s plenty of that around anyway, if you want to read it. Although I think writing things out can be therapeutic (for example the 22 page… essay I wrote about dumb high school level bullshit in recent years), if it gets too personal I’d rather keep it off the internet. I don’t mind sharing things with friends whom I want to share them with, but like dick pics it’s probably best just to not put those out there for the world to see. Honestly, if you want to hear something, in brutal honesty, just ask. Most of the time that’s all it takes, and I’ll tell you, if I think you’re worthy enough of knowing.
Actually, let me recant that a bit. I don’t mind getting personal, just not with the super negative stuff about other people I guess. Now I’m rambling…
I’m trying to find out
if my words have any meaning.
Lackluster and full of contempt
when it always ends the same.
This song that I’ve intertwined within is fairly accurate, although I guarantee you, not 100% of how I feel. Hell, it’s probably not even 20% now, but I used to use it every year in my New Year’s blog post on MySpace back in ancient times. I’ve even included it in convenient YouTube form at the bottom of this.
Heads up Damage Control,
there’s a ring around her finger.
Last chance for changing lanes,
and you missed it by a mile.
Why won’t she listen to me?
So here’s to motivation and stability. This was less of a year in review and more of a new beginning, eh? I’ll probably do something like that next…
This must be it.
Welcome to the new year.